Lana Del Rey? I'm so old I remember when "Lana Del Rey" was an ironic comment on "Lana Del Rey." But I guess she decided not to go away, and I'm grateful because that means I can post an original version of the John Denver chestnut:
Almost heaven, West Virginia/
Blue Ridge Mountains, Shenandoah River
Life is old there, older than the trees
Younger than the mountains, growin' like a breeze
The story, as I have it, is that at some vague point in the Eighteenth Century, vast numbers of Scotch-Irish migrated from, you know, Scotland or Ireland or around about there, to the crestline of the Appalachians. For it was at this clear, geographic line that they were barred from going further by the Royal Proclamation of 1763. George III by this action set himself against the westward drive of the American people that is such a large part of its essential nature, a Western drive bound up in the natural progressiveness of the American spirit, about which I can no longer even. The drive naturally soon resumed after the matter of the Revolution was dealt with, but by this time the Scotch-Irish had settled into the "Appalachians," where their Elizabethan accent persists unchanged to this day, denoting the antiquity of their origins and the oldness of their nature, as otherwise indicated by their charming habits of old time country music, square dancing, and making and consuming illegal alcohol products.
Did anyone ask how the burghers and tenant farmers of Ulster were transformed into frontier hunters and pioneers by the simple act of crossing the Atlantic? I hope not. We're talking about Scotland here, at least in part, and remember the Rob Roy guy? Can't be tougher than Liam Neeson, and they're all like that, so I'm glad that's settled.
I would, if I were minded to be a revisionist here, point out that modern Northern Ireland, close enough to old Ulster, is a territory of 14,330 sq km, with, today, a population of 1.93 million. For those Scotch-Irish who arrived in America at Philadelphia, they were arriving in a city whose modern greater metropolitan area is reckoned at 13,230 sq km with a population of 6.33 million. This imaginary revisionist, whom I am not, would wonder how these Scotch-Irish ended up on the crest line of the Appalachians. The argument, as far as I understand it, is that English America to the crestline's east was already full up, which is a bit difficult to understand when the population of all four of the colonies into which the metro area extends at least in part, was 360,000. Admittedly, the 600,000 estimated for the much smaller are of Ulster does indicate that Northern Ireland was fuller, and perhaps we shall take this 360,000 as being enough to fill up the area by the standards of America's vast expanse, although leaving 360,000 hands to cultivate 1.3 million hectares by hand and horse seems hard labour by any standards.
It hardly needs repeating, however, that I am no revisionist and intend to imply no implications. Do you know that New Deal era photographers were an unwelcome sight in Appalachia because of their tendency to take pictures that made the good people of Appalachia out to be "dark."
Black Irish, no doubt. In Robert E. Howard's Hyborian Age imaginarium, the peaks of the Appalachians are the old Pictish Isles that lay beyond Atlantis, yes, that's as in the Picts of Scotland, give or take a few earth shattering cataclysms. While that's just pulp fiction, everyone knows that the Picts were Scythians, and that the Scythians were from Asia's Siberian bit, from whence the ancestors of the First Nations split off to go east, instead. What about that, hunh?
So, anyway, the Appalachians:
It's fashionable to make jokes about American politicians from Ohio who claim to be "hillbillies," but the Allegheny plateau province of the Appalachians extends well into Ohio. Campbell Hill near Bellefontaine has an absolute elevation of 472m, is 195m above the local level, and to the eye looks well west of the geographical centre of the state. It's true that this isn't mostly "holler" country, but it's not not "holler" country, either.
Geologists have come to the rescue of country song writers with an account of the Appalachians that emphasises that they are old, old mountains. The range is thought to have had its ultimate origins in the Grenville orogeny that straddled the billion-year BCE mark. Levelled down by erosion in subsequent eras, the last remnants of this early range were then lifted from below by the subduction of the Iapetus Ocean beneath the North American plate, an orogeny also almost now eroded away. A final orogeny, during the Carboniferous, gave the region its underlying coal (and salt) belts and mountains that are still in the process of eroding away, producing the sediment infill of the coastal plain to the east and the Allegheny and Cumberland plateaus to the east. (This is one of the I'm-not-sure mutually contradictory narratives explaining why the western plateaux have less relief than the hill-and-valley province.) For tourists who have gone to see the more spectacular vistas in the Appalachians, the idea that they are a coherent mountain system is at least made plausible by the continuity of a fault line marking the western edge of the hill and valley province, the Allegheny Front. The author of the Wikipedia article on same is adorably salty about this new-fangled woke geological jargon.One might think that the Allegheny Front marks the Eastern Continental Divide. It emphatically does not. The Continental Divide runs "close" to the Front, but the Front is penetrated by a number of tributaries of the Juniata, by the Potomac. No waterway breaks the Front from east to west, and the completely insane proposal for a canal from the Chesapeake to Pittsburgh envisioned a 1961 feet change of elevation from the navigational head of the Potomac to Brownsville on the Monongahela, accommodated by 246 locks over 70 miles.
Speaking of which, this is the Monongahela, a 210km river running south to north from, counting tributaries that extend its length, very nearly the Virginia border to its junction with Pittsburgh, where it joins the Allegheny, the main headstream of the Ohio River, says Wikipedia. This sounds a bit fanboyish --what about the Missouri?-- but at least as far as the Monongahela and Allegheny are concerned, the latter river comes by its senior partner status honestly. It is altogether a bigger river, and is more economically important. Yes, the Monongahela is joined at Brownsville by the broad from Pittsburgh to Philadelphia, or Baltimore, really. But the Allegheny, although not navigable far above Pittsburgh, cuts a route to within 24km of the shore of the Great Lakes at Erie, Pennsylvania. The tributary in question, the Venango, or French Creek, was the route of the Venango Path, running from Erie to Fort Le Boeuf at modern Waterford, PA. From there, during the brief high water of French influence in the Ohio country, French troops and supplies went by water down to to Fort Duquesne at Pittsburgh. Saliently, in a last ditch effort to retain Pittsburgh, the French colonial government of Illinois called out "the Illinois militia," in exactly the same way that the defence of Canada relied on the Canadian militia, giving us some insight into the trajectory of the Illinois country in 1758, and the importance of Pittsburgh to Illinois. Looking at the subsequent history of Pittsburgh as the American steel city, uniting coal from the Appalachians with iron ore coming down the Great Lakes from Minnesota.
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| By flickr user "Truello" = Andy from Pittsburgh, USA - "kayaker" sur flickr, CC BY 2.0, https://commons.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?curid=6427587 |








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